Following my last guardianship post, I received a number of questions in regards to split families so I thought it would be a good idea to put together this post. As a parent myself I know just how important it is to make sure that children are happy, safe and loved, both now and in an uncertain future.
The starting point is who has parental responsibility for your children. But let’s go back slightly and talk about what parental responsibility is. Parental responsibility is all of the rights, duties and responsibilities a parent has for their child – anyone who has children will confirm that there are many! It includes decisions of where your child lives, who they have contact with, where they go to school, medical decisions, and for the purposes of this post, appointing a guardian on your death.
If you were married at the time of having your children or if you are named on your children’s birth certificate then you will have parental responsibility. There are other ways of acquiring parental responsibility but there are far better blog posts that explain this and so I will not go further into it here.
There tends to be broadly three different circumstances that split families tend to fall into and the below presumes that both parents have parental responsibility for the children:
My ex and I get on well and we are both involved in our children’s lives
The best advice is for you and your ex to discuss who you feel would be best placed to act as guardian(s) to your children and for you both to make Wills appointing that person(s). Of course, this tends to be the better way forward as everyone is in agreement and, in theory, there will be no argument. On the death of you, your children will be looked after by your ex and on their death, the guardian(s) decided upon by you both will be appointed.
My ex and I can’t come to agreement as to who looks after our children on our deaths but we are both involved in our children’s lives
You and your ex may choose to each independently appoint different guardians in your Wills. On the death of you, your children will be looked after by your ex as they have parental responsibility and on the death of both of you, your ex’s appointment would work for the purposes of transferring parental responsibility to his appointed guardians.
It would be for your appointed guardians to take advice and begin an application to Court for a Child Arrangements Order should your guardians feel they are better placed to care for the child. The child's welfare will be the Court's paramount consideration. Alongside your Will, you should consider including a letter of wishes explaining why you have appointed those guardians including why they would be best placed to look after your children.
My ex has nothing to do with my children and I do not wish for my children to be placed with them on my death
This is always a difficult and worrying situation to be in from a parent’s point of view. The children may not have seen their other parent for many years, sometimes, their entire life if the other parent has had nothing to do with the children since birth. The thought of the other parent suddenly being able to take the children away from everyone and everything they know is a frightening one.
Often the best advice is for you to appoint guardians of your children in your Will and to write a letter of wishes explaining why you do not feel that the other parent would be best placed to look after your children and why you feel your guardians would be. This does not trump the parent with parental responsibility, but it allows you to provide an indication of your thoughts and what you believe to be in the best interests of your children which can be helpful to your guardians who will need to take urgent advice on the event of your death. It is likely that an application to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order or Special Guardianship Order placing the child in their care will be required. These orders will give the guardians Parental Responsibility which they will need to be able to make decisions about your child's upbringing.
In the event that the other parent wishes to re-enter the child's life, the court will consider what is best for that child, based on their individual circumstances.
You must remember that no matter what the circumstances, a Court will consider what is in the best interests of the children at the time of making their decision and will take into account all of the facts at that time. As such, whilst your children may be currently estranged from their other parent, if on your death, they are no longer estranged, it may be considered that your appointment of guardians and letter of wishes is no longer relevant. You should ensure you keep any appointment of guardians under regular review.
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